a close shave in avondale …

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“That was a close one …”

jaqui is a cute lass,

well, as girls from gweru go,

contrary to previous misguided assumptions,

purtty young girls really are to be found every-flippin-where,

i’m not one to deny them unique Mos-style trips of a surreal orgasmic nature.

and so it is,

our humble bloke finds himself,

having done the obligatory preliminaries,

late lunch at 40 cork road, drinks at mekka, rubbers from bridge spar,

swiftly to the avondale dungeon,

his wine glass empty,

body all drenched in steaming sweat,

her wine glass half empty,

body thoroughly shagged out,

purtty girls somehow prefer that state when in my presence,

i humbly oblige,

and nonchalantly indulge,

but this one,

she’s mighty purtty,

intelligent,

and gets me,

thats the combination that gets a lot of men in trouble,

i’m a man in trouble,

see,

lil miss jaqui,

she’s got me thinking,

looking at her lithe bodae all limped out,

maybe i should hang up my boots and stuff,

do the whole going steady thing,

coz i’m feeling wicked pangs of unsavoury guilt,

from being sexually philanthropic,

and playing orgasmic altruist to agreeable damselles,

i don’t know,

i should make moves perhaps,

maybe let her sleep over or something,

have a lil breakfast,

maybe hold her hand while we’re on the way there or something,

who knows,

maybe this one is the one like Neo,

the one whose surname i get to know,

coz she seems to be all exclusive about us and stuff …

and then her cellular communication device vibrates,

then rings,

dude’s voice: asking where she is,

her: telling dude she’s already gone out,

with Mos, she adds,

dude tries another angle,

she tells him he’s too late,

should have called earlier,

says she’ll call dude tomorrow …

and then it happens,

that nasty angry feeling doesn’t well up inside my chest,

neither does it move up to my throat,

all lumpy and hard,

to choke me like chris brown,

instead,

that crazy guilt,

it lifts up to the heavens,

and goes ka poof!

Evanescence baby, baby,

i’ve been set free,

free like django, (now gimme my kerry washington)

ah,

sweet release … that was a close one.

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