Dear Mos – On a relationship timeout

Oh Mos!

I’ve had it with my girlfriend! Women are full of shit!

She doesn’t take me seriously Mos,
Goes out with her friends to Mekka and parties and whatever,
Whenever she feels like it,
I dont trust those bitches!
Taking my girl out to meet guys Mos,
Dude, I KNOW they hook her up!
And when I confront her she just tells me we are not married, and that I’m insecure,
Oh Mos,
I’m 27 and I’m serious about this girl,
She’s 22 and I want to marry her soon,
But Mos, I think she is taking me for granted!

I can’t take it anymore,
I want to break up with her for a bit Mos,
Just so she can see that she will lose me if she carries on this way,

What do you think Mos? Help a boy out!

Imma-dump-this-chick Seriously.


Dear Imma-dump-this-chick,

You are stupid.

And this is the dumbest shit a guy in a relationship can do,
second to getting caught,
knocking up the maid,
trying to stick it in a new place and acting dumb when slapped
or making a pass at your girl’s mom.

This is the hottest girl you can bag,
This is the hottest girl you have ever bagged,
You don’t bag many girls do you? I kid, I kid!
Else you would not be so torn up about all this,
but let me school you once son,

If you dump her,
She will go,
And that opportunistic nice guy who has been on her tail for a while,
That “friendly” fuckface,
He will fuck her,
A couple of times,
Not more,
And then you will get back together with your girl,
And then you will find out,
And this shit will fuck you over. Forever.

Don’t. Do. It.

You’re welcome.



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