Simbi ya Moms..

Dear Uncle Mos,

Noone else, noone noone nooooooone, sorry Alicia Keys erm .. noone can understand me like you will. Noone will advise me like only you can.

I am in a classical bind Mos. Caught between a rock and another rock.

Happily married is what I am. Or rather I was. But you know how these things are. When you’ve been married for a while the eyes wander. When you’ve watched someone go from a hot sexy cutie to that whale lying on the couch flipping DSTV channels and digging in a hand and scratching their ass right in front of you, ah Uncle, things change ka.

I never thought I would be one to stray from the warm cocoon of holy matrimony and go out looking for AND FIND excitement in a “small house”. Oh but it happened Uncle Mos! It happened. And I am now in deep shit! Pray for me! Makandiwa.

My smallerz is the hottest bundle of orgasms this side of hard drugs. You know the feeling of shagging a 20-something-year-old! You know this Uncle Mos!

So I got myself this young boy and have kept it from my hubby extremely well the past few weeks. He has no idea that his boring, nagging wife that he is tired of shagging is getting her back blown out by a young one.   
 
Here comes the “but”. We’re having fun ne, experimenting, dressing up, tying each other up, all kinds of kinky stuff, next thing you know the young one catches feelings.

Who does that?

I know I give it good (how do you think I bagged my hubby, hehe), but, heyi, kawira heavy kamupfana aka. He has started slipping on our Rules Of Engagement.
We agreed only I initiate contact, next thing you know, I’m reading my True Love Magazine sitting next to my chubby hubby when a whatsapp message comes in from ka smallerz, hanzi,

“jst tnkn bt u” ne ka smiley face!

Who sends a 37-year-old woman a smiley face!?
 Nhai.. but kanomhanya nebhora.. yohwee .. zvangu ini. Kuda Mahachi.

And then this afternoon, after a quick what what … ka mid-week stress relief ka, we are dressing up and ka smallerz says, “Let’s run away, just me and you.” Apa kari serious.

Oh please Uncle Mos. As a man I know you have been this young one before. What do I do? How do I unwind this situation back to fun without these messy, potentially problematic feelings from this kamupfanha kekumhanya nebhora?

Sincerely,
Mrs Anonymous.
………………………………..

Dear Mrs Anonymous,

This is a bad one.

Really bad.

The information you have provided is very minimal. I can assist you with your problem but I shall need you to come clean on certain aspects which you have just brushed over.

I need to know, for instance, who you dress up as. A nurse? A police-woman? A french maid?
It is virtually impossible to go any further without photos of you dressed up in your gear. This is necessary for me to get a well-rounded view of your situation. Shots from different angles and varying levels of undress please.

When you refer to “tying up” do you use rope? How thick? Or maybe erotic handcuffs? Please furnish details and of who ties up who and the sequence of events which follow.

A video would greatly enhance my understanding and expedite a solution.

Videos where possible and photos at a minimum would also be great for what you called “all kinds of kinky stuff”.
I hope you revert urgently with these so we can work out a prompt and effective solution to your misery.

Yours sincerely,
Uncle Mos

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