Vaginas Sans Frontieres

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In no uncertain terms,
it is imperative that the girl about harare learns the limits of her vagina,
and acts accordingly,

Vaginas Sans Frontieres,

Non Mademoiselle,

One does not sashay into Pick n Pay bearing a Spar credit note,
neither does one strut into Barclays bank with the aim of cashing a cheque drawn on Tapinda Tapinda Bank,
one simply does not,

Even in this multi-currency fuckery,
nobody whips out Zambian Kwacha notes and presents as kombi fare,
mahwindi beateth,

But what has this to do with a vagina and the limits of it?

Glad you asked,

At a half past five o’clock this wintry evening,
as i was setting up my little corner of the gym class,
to exercise you see,
as one is wont to stay sexy and delectable and so on and so forth,
this young woman walks up to me,

To be precise,
her breasts presented themselves to my face,
now,
i’m not one to shy away from presented breasts or their bearer,
and the bearer of these lactation devices was not hard on the eyes,
neither were the devices, factly,
in a past era i would have contemplated bonking her brains out at a time and place convenient to our daily schedules,
i am partial to young women who are easy on the eyes,
if you must know,
sadly i’m not about that life anymore,
i hear you ladies,
the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh,
or something like that,

And so this young woman of ours,
whom i have witnessed on many occasions,
deviate from the ethically preferred custom of paying the class instructor for her service,
this same young woman,
who skillfully manages to get the males from the class to pay her way,
whose arms, in baffling manner, i have watched grow shorter and pockets mysteriously disappear,
when it is that part of the evening to part with $2,
yes,
you read right,
TWO FUCKING DOLLARS,
unotoshay… STOP … Hammer Time,

this one and singular female individual,
well she presents her breasts to my face, bats her fake eyelashes and flashes a set of teeth that could do with a spot of whitening,
oh, and a tic tac,
minty tic tac might have helped her case,
maybe not,
anywho,
and very suggestively suggests that i give her one of my pairs of dumbells,
i had two pairs, you see,

Ah, my people,

Thirsty men with diminished sexual means are a burden to manhood,
that species of male in this city,
many times over, deprived of the tantalising attentions of nubile seductresses,
we see these men walking in these streets, thirsty as fuck,
and when, in their deplorable desperation,
they entertain the whims and fancies of such Martha I-cant-pay-$2-for-gym-but-you-should-find-me-irresistible-because-i-flashed-my-mammary-glands-in-your-face types,
they give these Marthas the elevated hopes that the utility of their vaginas has no limits,
that the possibility of their vagina renders all men pliable,
a hypnotizing vagina,
a non-geographical vagina,
a Star Trek Vagina,
boldly getting favours where no vagina has gotten favours before,
an interstellar vagina,
shifting into hyperspace speed and getting favours in this, that and the next galaxy,
a Schengen vagina,
crossing the borders of this and that country, obtaining penile favours with scant regard to sovereign boundaries,
argh man,
unotoshay… STOP … Hammer Time.

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